So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
