Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize
