So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
