laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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