is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
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