Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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