I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
