I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
