I'm really into asian looking animals
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I didn't notice because vodka
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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