Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
