I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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