all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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