Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
