Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
