I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize