I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
