Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
