oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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