what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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