SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
