Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize