Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
