that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
