then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
