he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
