UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's blow job season.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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