he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
