I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
home. puking in laundry basket.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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