Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
