ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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