My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
