He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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