yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
