So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
