dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
