Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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