I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize