i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Screwed.edu
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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