Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
