Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
