It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
