i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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