walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
