i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
