Im at strip club and am horny
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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