I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
