Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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