I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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