Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
