Whod you bang
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
