My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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