does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
