Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sobbing to NWA
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
