I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
