Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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