you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
