then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
