Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
