he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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